I am in BULGARIA having a whole heap of fun. I’ve been meeting Laurel’s neighbours (mostly very cheery toothless ladies who want to hug and kiss me) and eating cauldrons of “four kinds of meat”. I’ve had one “Joan Crawford Day” which consisted of me re-reading...

“Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it’s because I’m not a bitch. Maybe that’s why Miss Crawford always plays ladies.” Bette or Joan? Bette or Joan? I am increasingly obsessed with both of them and just can’t decide who I like best. At...

Ginger very kindly bought me some posh cherry jam to go in the indentations of the little treats that are Sonja’s Scandinavian Cookies. Fresh out of the oven they were enjoyed by Jack (he liked the nuts) and Grace (she liked the dough-y centre). I managed...

Laurel said that he was instantly transported to the banana zone upon eating a piece of Marlene’s cake. It was consumed in large slices in bed in Southend with a nice mug of tea. I am still recovering from the weekend as we barely made...

Just back from a long weekend in Avebury. Sharing a fabulous little cottage in the churchyard with Ginger, Grace, William, Cary and Jack. Much alcohol consumed and great feasts cooked up. On Saturday night I spent a very calm couple of hours in the kitchen with...

“A cowboy actor needs two changes of expression – hat on and hat off.” Funnily enough I was just in the process of buying myself a self-tipping cowboy hat on Second Life when Max arrived on Sunday morning bearing a gift of two Brioche. They...

“I’m a lot more sartorial than thespian. They come to see me and go out humming the costumes.” It was lovely to be rustling up Constance’s chicken for 3 whilst Grace and Jack were rehearsing their country songs in the dining room. They were on fine...

“You can count on Errol Flynn, he’ll always let you down.” Perhaps it is a bit of portentous syncronicity that Niven has a good quote about Errol as I am supposed to be embarking upon “Errol Week” tomorrow. Almost finished reading his amazing biography and pen...

“Keeping a feminine approach is vital – men hate bossy females.” Don’t you love getting a new pair of shoes home and checking the end of the box to see what they have been christened? These shoes are called “Ida Lupino”. By someone… Not the actual...

The first genuinely inedible dish of the whole project was cooked up tonight. Grace was right to be suspicious of Pat’s mush. Even if it was made with Marks and Spencer’s prime posh corned beef it was a right dog’s dinner. I wouldn’t...

“The public has always expected me to be a playboy, and a decent chap never lets his public down.” I am beginning to think that Errol was quite a cook. His Leg of Lamb absolutely rocked. It was the cup of coffee with cream and...

No need to look so worried Roland, we LOVED your rissoles. Left over turkey never tasted so good. It also gave Ginger the opportunity to crack her, “I’ll be round like a rissole” joke. Grace and I tucked into the rissoles with delicious caper & anchovy sauce...

Adolphe’s spicy cheese is becoming quite a house speciality. Grace requested it for our Christmas shindig it so it was rustled up. How she manages to make two types of potato salad, some mackerel pate and a bundle of cheese & chorizo puffs...

“Everybody has a heart. Except some people.” I spent most of the weekend crying and making marmalade. It wasn’t the making of the marmalade that made me cry, it was, as usual a boy. A big cloud of woe hung over me whilst I stirred Bette’s marmalade...

There has been much hilarity this week with all kinds of high jinx. Myrna and William came over for a Strictly Come Dancing dinner and we had another batch of Adolphe’s spicy cheese. It was very much enjoyed and I liked Myrna’s observation...

“It was my mustache that landed jobs for me. In those silent-film days it was the mark of a villain.” If only you could tell these days if a man were a villain by whether or not he wears a moustache. There seem to be...

“Yes, I was correctly quoted in saying I introduced sex into films in the 20’s, but it was sex in good taste and left a great deal to one’s imagination.” I am going to invoke the spirit of Pola when those Rolling Stone hunks come round...

“If only Vivien Leigh had stayed in England, that part would have been mine.” Hmm. I presume Joan is talking about Vivien’s role in Gone With The Wind there. Intriguing. Can’t imagine Joan in that part. Well, bouncing up and down to the Kaiser Chiefs on...

A very SNAZZY picture of George that I didn’t see yesterday when I looked… It is very late (past midnight) and I am very drunk (2 pints and approximately 1 bottle of red) so this will be short. The Stew was a hit and...

“In nine times out of ten, the slanderous tongue belongs to a disappointed person.” Well that’s about the size of it. I am a disappointed person. Still, it’s only Tuesday… I have recovered my equilibrium somewhat and am looking forward to cooking up a...

I’ve been holding a candle for a man named Joe for about two years and last week he announced totally out of the blue that he’d broken off his engagement and wanted to see me for a drink on Friday night. I hardly dared imagine...

“I have a face that is a cross between two pounds of halibut and an explosion in an old clothes closet.” I don’t usually write about things I haven’t made myself but I must just mention the marvellous “My Man Godfrey” cocktail served in...

What do you see for me in your crystal ball Ann? Several days of waiting for The Artist to call me on the phone I expect… I remembered that Ann’s Chili Casserole needed testing for the book so we had that last night and the ladies...

Well would you believe it? The very DAY after I spend the weekend canoodling with a new squeeze WHO should phone out of the blue to “see how I am” but the chaw-bacon. He must be finely attuned to the vibrations throughout the ether of...

“I don’t know what the secret to longevity as an actress is. It’s more than talent and beauty. Maybe it’s the audience seeing itself in you.” Another winnner from my favourite of all the stars. I rustled it up for Grace and Ginger exactly as per...

“My agent had once told me that he was going to make me the Janet Gaynor of England – I was going to play all the sweet roles.” I’ve been in a bit of a spin since my last entry. Just after I finished Marlene’s delicious...

“Glamour is what I sell, it’s my stock in trade.” Ahhhhhhh. My 3 week writing retreat in Crouch End is almost at an end. There’s a cat on the stairs, the sprinkler is on in the garden, my massive foot is elevated...

“Hollywood abounded with driven creatures endlessly looking for solace or compensation in alcohol, drugs, and sex.” Well after the weekend I’ve just had the same could be said of North London Gloria. I am still reeling from Nazimova’s party, I was so out of...

“Gif me a visky, ginger ale on the side. And don’t be stingy, baby.” Maybe if I hadn’t drunk so much I wouldn’t have ended up wailing and howling late into the night then waking up surrounded by piles of snotty tissues. Charley came...

“We never see ourselves as others see us.” After a week of insane bills being run up on ebay by my internet hacker I settled down to Oliver Hardy’s Spaghetti with Grace to try and forget about it all for a few minutes. We...

“I highly recommend worrying. It is much more effective than dieting.” Well the worrying is over for Ginger. She exploded into the house yesterday evening with the fabulous news that she has scored a great new job with S&S. Yippee. We celebrated with a bowl of...

Deep in the depths of the magical New Forest another batch of JGIBCs were cooked up. Early in the morning before most of my fellow writers began shuffling into the enormous kitchen for their herbal teas and barley cups I sliced and baked whilst in...

“In the 20s, you were a face. And that was enough. In the 30s, you also had to be a voice. And your voice had to match your face, if you can imagine that.” Well, my favourite star of all came up with another...

“She didn’t want to be famous. She wanted to be happy.” So said Clark Gable… Poor Jean – only 26 when she died. Lots of people were madly in love with her – including William Powell it is rumoured. We liked her crispy shrimpy...

As Doris observed, it looks like Dorothy Dare is WEARING her Flora Macaroons in this frock… Much fun in the kitchen while these were being made and the resulting propped and styled photographs were as pretty as a picture. We don’t know why they are called...

In a country kitchen in Devon with a whirlwind of cooking activity going on around me I attempted another version of the Coffee Parfait, this time from the pen of the actress Gary Cooper referred to as “Anna Stench”. The fact that I was on a...

“Most actors are basically neurotic people. Terribly, terribly unhappy. That’s one of the reasons they become actors.” Well there is a word of warning for myself and Grace. Might help prevent a cat scrap over the handsome new rockabilly… Margaret’s recipe stated that there would...

“Jewelry takes people’s minds off your wrinkles.” Ha ha! That’s my favourite Silver Screen Supper quote so far. LOVE IT. Like Sonja herself these were cute, cute, cute. Easy to make but they look impressive with their little dents filled with blackcurrant jam. The MS Cake...

“Suppose I bust out crying and put my head on your shoulder.” I’d give you a cuddle Fred. It is the first post using my swanky new MacBook computer. I was seduced by the marketing campaigns but it sure is perty. In advance...

“My wife said she’d help young people, … That’s what I’d do. Help young people, then buy a big motor home and get out of town.” Had a lovely time with the Panther this weekend, he was making me laugh a lot. Even when...

“We got potato soup and mutton week after week at home. I still turn green when lamb is served. “ Charley came round for dinner last night and because of his passion for the FRANKFURTER I made Alan Ladd’s Hamburger Rodeo. What a strange dish that...

“Most beautiful dumb girls think they are smart and get away with it, because other people, on the whole, aren’t much smarter.” Louise had to be the smartest of them all I think. I am loving “Lulu in Hollywood”. Thanks to Thomas Gladysz of...

“I will not retire while I’ve still got my legs and my make-up box.”   Me neither doll.William and Cary came over for tea and we polished off the Hollywood Salad for appetizers. Cary decided that the gherkins I placed on top of each salad...

  “I didn’t forget your breakfast. I didn’t bring your breakfast.  Because you didn’t eat your din-din.” Bette is still coming up trumps with the recipes. There is just something GOOD about all of hers I think. And I do love the use of the term...

“Celebrities meet a lot of people and we just can’t maintain them all in our fuddled brains.” Some people might find it strange that Cliff features in the Silver Screen Suppers project. I justify it thus: firstly he is the patron saint of the Tri-Delta sorority...

“The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.” I have finally cracked open the box of Biscuick that Rosalind kindly lugged all the way back from the USofA for me. I have two lovely 1930s recipe books for the weirdness that is...

“With me it was 5 per cent talent and 95 per cent publicity.” Grace and I awoke with the humdinger of all hangovers on Sunday morning after our singles night in the champagne bar of the Great Eastern Hotel. Grace had more success than...

“Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, except backwards and in high heels.”     My sorority girls proved their mettle this morning when we shared Ginger’s Butterscotch Pudding for breakfast. Who in their RIGHT MIND eats tapioca? When boiled with water it turns into...

“Macho does not prove mucho.” I am insanely happy after finally moving into a room of my own in the Stowe. After two and a half years of being of no fixed abode I am at last installed in a fabulous 3...

I am living the high life at a stayingcool apartment in Manchester. “Deluxe Meets Pop” in the Edge – blime. It is SO fabulous with swanky furniture, blobby wallpaper and shag pile rugs that you could lose a puppy in. It is a “Forty Bottles”...

MMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm! That was good. I made a rhubarb crumble with 6 sticks of rhubarb my mum plucked from the garden for me the other day. It was delicious. It was a bit sad that there was nobody there to share it with me… I had...

It was lovely to share a massive casserole dish of Chili with Edmund. I expect in the silver screen days that dish would have served four people but we scoffed the lot accompaied by two bottles of red wine. Edmund made me laugh really hard with...

“Somebody told me I should put a pebble in my mouth to cure my stuttering. Well, I tried it, and during a scene I swallowed the pebble. That was the end of that.” I love Marion. I hereby resolve to get hold of some of her...

“There will always be an England, even if it’s in Hollywood.” Bob came up trumps with his Baked Ham. I made it for Charley on Easter Sunday as it seemed like a lot of soaking and boiling and baking were involved so I needed...

“Once a woman has forgiven a man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.” Well, it looks like I have at last broken free from the Toxic Scot. It is over and hopefully this time for good. Feeling positive and full of energy, not...

“It amazes me how some of these little numbers with dreamy looks and a dead pan are getting away with it. I’d hate to see them on stage with a dog act.” I may have already used this classic quote from Joan however, it kind...

We are back to Janet’s Cookies. It is ten past midnight and I have just eaten one. Fact is, I was feeling like a GOOSEBERRY here at Rosalind’s place. The politics of relationships are very, very complicated and methinks it really is time to ship...

  “Every time your picture is taken, you lose a part of your soul.”   I can hardly believe that this is a 1940s photograph of Anna – she looks so MODERN. And her cakes are so good. Rosalind and Jimmy both said so. Unfortunately they...

“A man usually falls in love with a woman who asks the kinds of questions he is able to answer.” Hm. That is worth a ponder Ronald. I liked your Pot Pie. Even though the first attempt at cooking the round steak ended in a...

“Dessert is probably the most important stage of the meal, since it will be the last thing your guests remember before they pass out all over the table.” What are artichokes FOR? And how do they WORK? It remains a mystery. Although we did come to...

Turns out that Ruth is not only slightly camera shy but is also extremely blog shy. I am writing this for the record in the hope that at some point she will add stuff in, if not delete all this and rewrite it to her...

“No one ever expects a great lay to pay all the bills.” Ha ha! How true. Ears must be burning both in Brixton and in Iraq today. We have given our imaginary boyfriends a right old going over in between lunch at Harpoon Hannah’s Tiki bar...

“I wanna go home. I miss my cook.” Ruth is beside the stove cooking up Fred MacMurray’s Egg Burgers De Luxe for our breakfast and Clara Bow’s Vanilla Marlow is “done and done” and settling down in the refrigerator. We are going for it in a...

“I need sex for a clear complexion, but I’d rather do it for love.” An interesting take on the whole thing thanks Joan… There has been MUCH discussion on the ins and outs of our love lives during the cooking and...

“The general consensus seems to be that I don’t act at all.” What a joy to come downstairs after a long lie-in to find Ruth at the magi-mix preparing Gary Cooper’s Griddle Cakes in her cowgirl pyjamas. Not only that but also mixing up the dough...

“I was raised almost entirely on turnips and potatoes, but I think that the turnips had more to do with the effect than the potatoes.” Well I am pleased to say that Marlene’s Lamb Chops en Casserole contains both potatoes AND turnips which gives...

“The two films I did with Billy Wilder, ‘Double Indemnity’ and the ‘The Apartment’ are the only two parts I did in my entire career that required any acting.” Isn’t Fred handsome? The Summit has begun. I am in Delaware (“Small Wonder”) with America’s Sweetheart of Song...

Had a go at Herman’s wonderfully eccentric recipe for Weiner Schnitzel last night and was mightily pleased with the results. Charley read the bizarre cooking instructions out loud in his lovely booming voice and declared it to be closer to poetry than a recipe. The result...

“The Madonna of the Screen” Just back from the Berlinale which was FABULOUS! There was a “City Girls” retrospective of some fabulous women centred films of the 1910s and 1920s. Didn’t get to see as many as I wanted to but managed to catch “Dancing Mothers” and...

Well I guess when you’ve been out riding the range all day you want a chili that doesn’t take too long to make, so Tex’s chili recipe is pretty basic. I have to admit that I cooked it for a lot longer than 15 minutes and added...

“After all, a girl is – well, a girl. It’s nice to be told you’re successful at it.” My new (and most expensive ever) film star recipe book has arrived on my doorstep and I am beside myself with excitement. There are some super fab recipes in...

“The best thing about switching from being an actor to being a director is that you don’t have to shave or hold your stomach in anymore.” I tried Dick’s recipe for Baked Noodles on Saturday as I’m searching for a good veggie recipe to serve my...

Oh the Russian Sandwich is a thing of great beauty! I cannot WAIT for an unsuspecting guest to be at my house one lunchtime so I can ask the question, “would you care for a sandwich?” then disappear into the kitchen to make one of these...

“I’ve got a lot of ham in me.” On the page next to Ginger’s Coffee Parfait was a recipe for prize ham actor Lionel Barrymore’s baked steak. As I was hankering after what my old friend Kinky would call a “big hairy steak” last night I...

“My love for ice cream emerged at an early age – and has never left!” Well, I attempted Ginger’s “Coffee Parfait” last night which would have been some kind of ice cream I guess if I hadn’t made such a mess of it. I feel...

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