I have had to establish a Silver Screen Suppers Witness Protection Programme for Mr and Mrs X in North London who have tested the Matzo Balls recipe for me. Before explaining why, I must say that the Matzo Balls are my nemesis. Can a Matzo Ball be a nemesis? Or should I say that this recipe is my MOST FEARED of all the recipes slated for the book.
I have been putting off having a go at this myself for approximately 3 years. Mostly because I have never eaten a Matzo Ball, let alone cooked one. I didn’t even really know what one looked like until I got a photo of the ones Mr and Mrs X made. Katharine in Cardiff had a go at these a while ago and gave a glowing report, but this didn’t tempt me. Instead, I ate all the tea matzos I had bought with apricot jam and little dots of cheese on top as she had recommended. BUT all that stands between me and the Matzo Balls on the testing schedule are Greta Garbo’s Swedish Meatballs so I shall have to get over myself.
I LOVE MY TEST COOKS. They teach me so much. I had no idea that SCHMALTZ was an actual THING rather than just a word to describe something overly sentimental, but since getting the feedback form I now know that schmaltz is rendered chicken, goose or pork fat. If anyone reading this lives in a country that sells pots of PARTY SCHMALTZ please send me some at once and I’ll send you something lovely in return.
And the reason for the establishing of the Silver Screen Suppers Witness Protection Scheme? The following statement from Mr and Mrs X:
“Not only are we saying this is better than our family’s recipe BUT we are also supposed to be vegetarian (we used to be very strict but we fall off the wagon every couple of months) so you must protect our identity…..”
As they are planning on “hoarding the schmaltz” next time they cook a chicken and are trying to think of a way to introduce Groucho’s recipe to the aunties who do the festive cooking without hurting their feelings, I totally respect their anonymity!